I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize