Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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