My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize