Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Randomize