I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize