At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
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Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
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If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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