they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
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How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
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