dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
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