Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize