he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize