in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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