why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
one might say we're banned from that church
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
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He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
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Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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