I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
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