I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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