Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Sober January is a disaster.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize