So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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