Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
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Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
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There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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