...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize