I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize