did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
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I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
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i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize