If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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