I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize