This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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