I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Randomize