he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
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Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
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I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
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