The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
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If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
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Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
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