Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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