you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
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ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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