also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize