so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
sarcasm needs its own font
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize