That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
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You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
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Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize