guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I need a beard to bite.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize