I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
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Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
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There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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