I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize