yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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