he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize