But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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