In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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