I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize