just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
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