found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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