I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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