Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
love makes seman taste better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize