it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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