I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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