I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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