he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
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I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
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Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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