i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
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