he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
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