instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fucked my hip out of place.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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